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It would be unfair to not share my own shortcomings in the story.

After more than seven years of complete abstinence, I used methamphetamine. It went exactly as expected: it started with a little in the nose, but within a month I was buying 8-Balls at a time and back to injecting directly into my veins.

Days blended together.

When did I sleep last?

When did I eat last?

My brain was hijacked, my heart was broken, and my determination was in making sure I never got a surprise pain again. Relentlessly I surveilled his city’s gay scene. When first I caught him he didn’t mention the timespan and he didn’t mention the Snapchat account he continued to use; in fact, he lied directly to me about it.

What else could there be, waiting to pummel my heart into the ground?